a different kind of anniversary
Today marks the 2 year anniversary of our house fire. What am enormous disruption that was. I am not yet fully back to myself, by any means. Matter of fact, I have just begun going to EMDR therapy, to address my hyper-vigilance and residual anxiety. I only have one session under my belt so far, but once I am into it for a few weeks I will let you know if it helping. The house took 14 months to rebuild and we are back in and super happy with it. All the “stuff” we lost is mostly forgotten (except for a few heirlooms). Truthfully, the biggest loss has been psychic: I lost my innocence, my ability to walk through life believing anything is possible and hard work will generally get you there. I lost my swagger. Yes, it was probably mostly naive, but honestly, I miss it. Every single day.
Amur Maple in October (Acer tataricum subsp. ginnala)
I was pretty sure the fire was what you were referring to earlier when you said you were feeling raw. I fully understand the hyper vigilance and anxiety. One afternoon some years ago my home was broken in to and “tossed” while I made a quick mid-day 45 minute trip to the grocery. Fortunately I didn’t walk in on the burglar, but it was alarming nonetheless to find everything topsy turvey. I live alone and it took a long time to feel safe again in my little cottage. Nothing much was taken (it was a drug addict looking for money and I don’t keep any cash stashed about). Strangely, an old black fleece hoodie, my winter around-the-house jacket, was taken. It was my mom’s and I miss it even now, as wearing it was like a warm hug from her :(
The EMDR therapy sounds very interesting and I hope it is effective for you. Keep us informed, please.
Those maple leaves are gorgeous and are reminiscent of smouldering coals, which is just what you planned, I’m sure! Brilliant!