after the snow melts

i mentioned yesterday that i took a group nature walk on sunday. it was unnerving for me to take a walk, in a manner so similar to my daily STILL routine, in the company of a group. i didn’t like it. it was the fact that it was so similar to my daily ritual, yet different, that unsettled me. it was interpersonally comfortable but creatively uncomfortable. i am an extrovert. but the creative process for me is very solitary. i usually walk alone with the dog. i don’t wear headphones because i need to hear the dog (who runs off-leash).  my mind wanders. i think of nothing and everything, but mostly nothing. the dog sets the pace and the direction. if he stops to investigate, i stop to investigate. it’s meditative i guess. but mostly it is inwardly directed. it is shapeless but shaped by my own habits and intuitions. so sunday was like doing group meditation after seven years of solitary practice. i learned things from my peers. i saw new things that they pointed out. and yet, it felt…stiff. i don’t know what this says about me, maybe i’m not the extrovert i think i am. maybe i am a social extrovert but a creative hermit. in any case, these are the bits and pieces i picked up on my group walk. tomorrow, it’s back to me in the company of me.